如何寫好商業英語 (一)

最近徐緣有一篇Facebook 文章講到寫e-mail，建議大家一讀兩本工具書: The Elements of Style by William Strunk and E.B. White 和Writing That Works by Kenneth Roman and Joel Raphaelson。真的要感謝徐緣先生的介紹，讀來如醍醐灌頂，簡直是為我在公司每天讀來的可怕電郵中帶來一股清泉，提點我不要學了同事的壞榜樣。前者確實是一部經典，在1959年改版後今天讀來優雅而不古舊。第二本講到的寫電郵和簡報的忠告有些有點過時，不過也值得參考。


這兩本英文工具書的對象是英文為母語的人，證明其實講英文流利不等於寫作文法正確，而文法正確又不等於行文流暢，行文流暢亦不等於表達清晰有序。所以無論你是ABC還是DSE英文考獲5**，都必須留意以下要點。

寫e-mail的大道理例如要到題，要言簡意賅，不能串錯字，不用標奇立異的字體和顏色等，大家都應該知道，不贅，亦可參考徐緣的facebook post。他寫得很到題。
我唯一想補充的就是給大家一個我認為蠻清晰的範本讓大家參考。

Hi Peter/ both/ all/ team,

I am working on the project XXXXXX. This is a mandatory exchange requirement effective DDMMMYYYY.
[第一行說明事件背景]

I'd appreciate a lot if you would kindly provide your operations requirements by filling out the attached excel form and return to me by DDMMMYYYY.
[第二行說明你想對方做的事]

Thank you very much!

Background.....
Expected Process Flow Changes.....
Expected System Changes.....
[如有需要之後才有系統地用列點方式交代細節，如資料太多以附件形式交代]

留意﹕重中之重是要在三行以內清楚交代整件事和你對收件人的要求。我在公司收的大部份電郵都做不到這一點，整封e-mail甚至連究竟是For your information還是For your action也講不清楚。那是極為失敗的例子。人的attention span 很短，你不能在30秒內講明白重點，對方會失去耐性。收件人是不會對不清晰的要求作出回應的。



這裏我還想講進階一點，從以上提到兩本教材裏抽例子，教英文底子不錯的你如何在遣詞造句中表現出大將的風範，令你老闆刮目相看。

1) 描述要具體﹕

Avoid writing...	Try to say...
A period of unfavorable weather set in.	It rained every day for a week.
He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward.	He grinned as he pocketed the coin.

2) 不要用兩隻字去表達一隻字可以表達的意思﹕

Avoid writing...	Try to say...
the question as to whether	whether (the question whether)
there is no doubt but that	no doubt (doubtless)
used for fuel purposes	used for fuel
he is a man who	he
in a hasty manner	hastily
this is a subject that	this subject
Her story is a strange one.	Her story is strange.
the reason why is that	because

3) 反覆修改行文和用詞，令要表達的意思更有力和突出。很多時候你會發現強而有力的句子都是比較短的。

Avoid writing...	Try to say...
There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground.	Dead leaves covered the ground.
At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard.	The cock's crow came with dawn.
The reason he left college was that his health became impaired.	Failing health compelled him to leave college.
It was not long before she was very sorry that she had said what she had.	She soon repented her words.

4) 這是一個在商業世界比較常見到的例子。左邊的句法我每天都見很多，每次都要讀兩次以上才明白對方的意思。

Avoid writing...	Try to say...
It is generally desirable to communicate your thoughts in a forthright manner.	Don’t mumble.
Toning your point down and tiptoeing around it may, in many circumstances, tempt the reader to tune out and allow his mind to wander.

寫作表達不清晰，可能是因為英文水平不夠，否則便是懶惰造成。要寫得言簡意賅﹑有條不紊，要花更多的時間去修改。但這個投資是值得的，因為大公司裏很多同事只會透過電郵去認識你這個人，你的寫作代表了你的第一甚至第二﹑三印象。

下一篇我會用在公司收到的真實電郵作好和差的例子去比對，讓大家參考。

延伸閱讀:

Ibank求職/ 轉工/ 薪金大揭祕
讀CFA/ FRM/ CPA等專業資格有沒有用? 應否讀MBA?
從Ibank back office 學會的貴婦穿戴之道
職場捉心理 - 多問上司對自己評價


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